Evergreen to Everlasting

NEW STUFF AND CHANGES

2010-04-20T13:33:00.000-07:00

For quite awhile now I haven't been able to sit at the desk and use the desktop computer for too long because something is wrong with my circulation and my feet turn this funny blue-purple color, but now I have a laptop and can sit with my feet up and compute away! This is so cool! I am having a time getting use to the mouse and the touchy keyboard, but I see so many possibilities now!

Tammy and Nick gave us the news of a new grandchild on the way- in October again! How thoughtful of them to keep them all in the same month! We are so excited and thankful, and I need to go get some new yarn picked out!

Billy's is finishing his junior year and will be heading to Ocean City as a police officer this year! I'm so proud of him- and scared too- this is the part when you have to put them in God's Hands.

I got 4 new books in the mail this week! Don't often get such treasures all at once!

A Bruised Reed by Richard Sibbes- I'm reading this with an online book club on challies.com

The Good News We Almost Forgot by Kevin De Young--I had to make $25 to get free shipping and why pay shipping when you can get another book! This came highly recommended and takes 52 Sundays to go through and explain the Heidelberg confession.

Ashamed of the Gospel by John Macarthur--Love Macartur's books and when you are on his mailing lists you can get cd's and books for a donation ( or actually free) but a donation is always good.

The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones--I saw one of these at Ollies for a huge discount price and got it for the grandkids. As I looked through it and began to read I thought it was just wonderful. It goes through the major Bible stories and shows how the Bible tells about Jesus in every one. It was so good I wanted one at home and to give the kids so I ordered another one and then I gave one away to someone and had to order another one. Hopefully this will be the last, but well worth it.

I am also going to the best women's Bible studies I have ever gone to. We are studying the book "Lies Women Believe" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Absolutely excellent! Challenging! Convicting!

And the Kiwanna's book sale starts April 28th! Life is good! :)

Things That Make Me Smile

2009-08-30T15:01:00.000-07:00

I was talking to Tammy the other day on the phone when she mentioned a friend of theirs that she said was one person who always expressed the joy of the Lord. That really convicted me. A long time ago I was actually known as a person that was that way. I really would like to be again.

I think that life has got in the way. I have let health problems, milk price problems, etc, and my own sin problems get in the way of the joy that Jesus promises. Joy of resting and trusting in Him.

As I was going for my walk today I thought of things that make me smile. That instantly, without thought, make me smile, and I decided to make a quick list:

Kittens in the barn

Little Abby and Caleb's voices on the phone ( actually anything with my grandkids, even listening to Caleb chatter while I change his poopy diaper!

The William Tell Overture- which happens to be a great walking song as long as nobody notices you directing the orchestra while you walk

Watching Bill play with the dogs outside

Our Aussie Jack who has to have something in his mouth so he can talk to you

Seeing our kids' cars coming down the lane

A new posting on Tammy's blog

Book sales

Libraries

Dairy Queen ice cream cakes ( but the guilt takes the smile away!)

Going into church

Realizing something new in Scripture

Collies

Music from Ben Hur

Christmas music

Kindness

A clean kitchen ( very rare)

Closing the last page of a really good book

Coming home after being away for awhile

A new calf born and the mom's ok

Our mockingbird that comes every summer

Listening to Bill laughing with the kids

Billy's voice on the phone

Bill coming down the driveway, home from work

Good music on the ipod on a beautiful sunrise or sunset walk

Just a quick without out contemplating list. I want to learn to lean on Jesus more and have a more childlike faith and trust in Him. He came to give us abundant joy, despite our circumstances and I pray for that. He's probably knocking down my door trying to give it to me and I just keep going on my old stubborn way, wallowing in my distrust, old habits and all those sins. But I'm so thankful for the things that He has blessed me with and the things that make me smile!

A Truth Not To Be Forgotten!

2009-08-25T12:40:00.000-07:00

You ought to wash one another's feet!(Philip Bennett Power)

"He got up from supper, laid aside His robe, took a towel, and tied it around Himself. Next, He poured water into a basin and began to wash His disciples' feet and to dry them with the towel tied around Him." John 13:4-5

When the Lord Himself would stoop to the humblest and lowest act of service, and teach His disciples to do the same--the washing of feet was the one He chose. During His earthly walk--Jesus saw all humble deeds in both their present and future dignity. He knew how and why it was, that he who would be greatest--must be the servant of all. He connected service and reward together. In His mind--all humble deeds of service were invested with great dignity. Jesus never did a humble deed, or took up a menial position, or uttered a lowly speech, without a consciousness of the true nobility attached to them.

Therefore, with great joy did He perform all His humble service!It is just here that we fail. We have little power of association. We isolate our humble services and deeds--from their eternal principles and thoughts, and then our services become burdensome, and our duties become toilsome--and failure is too often the result. Let us realize the nobility of our humble services.

Life, and common every-day service and duties, will wear a new aspect to us--when we see them tending to such a glorious consummation! We shall have fresh heart and energy--when we realize that the future will compensate abundantly for them."So if I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet--you ought to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example that you also should do just as I have done for you." John 13:14-15

In the busyness, frustration and cynicism of life, this truth is too easily forgotten. I want to think about the nobility of washing the dishes, cleaning the house, sending the card, private prayer, fixing dinner and so on. Lord, help me to remember the many ways you served and obeyed whatever the Father asked with joy and help me to look at my days in a different and more holy and thankful way!

A Short Shorts Tale

2009-08-18T16:29:00.000-07:00

I wore shorts to Walmart the other day. You have to understand I have NEVER done this. I have been an adult since Walmart was invented so wearing shorts as a kid doesn't count.

It all started with inheriting my Mom's terrible varicose veins. Besides the various colors of blue and purple, I have doosy on each leg. And because of hiding the veins, my legs are also quite white. Top that off with two knee replacements- and there you go- no shorts in public. (Knee replacements also leave, beside the scars, various blue, brown and purple bruises that never go away.)

But the other day it was just too hot and there was no way I was going to change into jeans, no way! So I went. It felt kinda funny, I felt funny. You know those "old" people you see in public places - the ones that make you think- Why did they come out dressed like that?! I think I was one. And now I know why they come dressed like that! Life's too short to care what anyone else thinks, there are so many other things that are more important than vanity and if we have a sense of humor with our aging, vanity just kind of flies away.

I do the best I can for my poor legs. I walk everyday and I shave them! I am sorry to the public that I am foisting my awful looking legs on you, but I really just don't care anymore.

All the things that have happened to me in the last few years have dealt a blow to my vanity and actually I have found it to be rather freeing.

My lesson learned is don't take yourself so seriously, laugh and be thankful - Life's too short to do otherwise!

Our Children's Children

2009-07-14T13:07:00.000-07:00

I haven't written anything in quite a while. I've been having a "flare" of my autoimmune problem. I wish it could be that someone would say - boy, that Bev really has flare, but alas I am only having one. I went through over a month of intense ( pace the driveway in the middle of the night walking with the cane so your husband doesn't hear the crying ) nerve pain. I am soo grateful it is almost over and never really realized what a huge blessing sleep is. May we remember to keep in prayer those whose pain is ongoing!

In the midst of this my daughter reminded me that it was time for her and Nick to go to Camp Lambec for their yearly counseling of the kids at music camp and did we want the kids for the week. For a time I was pretty sure that I wasn't going to be able to do it, but I couldn't stand the thought of those kids not being here, so that week was dedicated to just taking care of them and nothing else at all and by the time they got here I was feeling better, thank the Lord.

Being a Grammy is so wonderful- I'm afraid I'm quite typical and have to talk about them. They were soo good that week. I remarked to Abby one day about how proud I was that she was taking such good naps and she said, "But Grammy, I have to keep the promise I made to my Mommy that I would take naps for you!" Caleb on the other hand was turning off the monitor thinking I couldn't hear him upstairs, but we settled that situation. He was really good too, seeing it was his first long stay away from home. Give him some cars and trains and some cuddling and Abby, and he's happy.

One of our favorite times of the day was after baths and we would cuddle on the couch and read and read and read. I now know Little Brown Bear Loses His Clothes , A Porcupine Named Fluffy, and Corduroy front and back!

Abby got it into her head to make gingerbread men, so they did that all one afternoon, cutting and decorating- most of the cookies did look like men.

I see why Tammy had to start a blog about the kids, they say the funniest and most profound things. Coming home from Walmart one morning I was following a school bus going only about 25 miles an hour and fussing to myself about it when Caleb said-" Look Grammy a school bus!!" and then a second later he exclaimed "You're the best Grammy in the whole world!". Hit me in the heart it did- why can't I just not fret and enjoy things like the kids do - look at the incredible blessings God has given me in these kids. What is more important? I often think of how the Scripture talks about seeing your children's children being a blessing from God, but it was never real till it happen to me, so like so many other things.

Thank you Father for all the many rich blessings You have given me in this life and also for the blessings I don't even see or recognize.

Breakfast Talk

2009-05-24T19:09:00.000-07:00

This morning Bill was looking through a local farming paper and on the front was an article about awards given for a farming family. Looking at the picture he said, "I'll bet he works for the extension office and she's a teacher" and sure enough inside he did work for the extension office although she had another job. They also inherited their grandfather's farm.

I don't know, we just always figured if you wanted to be called a farmer, that is how you make your living- and it's tough. It is not a job you go to and leave and come home. You live with it 24/7. It's sometimes really hard, you have to be tenacious, willing to give up alot of things. When you are a real farmer you are at the mercy of the weather, government set prices, cow health problems, ect. ( There's lots of good things though too!) Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't really think you can be considered a real farmer when you , for the most part, make your living off the farm. You make a commitment and it takes time, work, risk, and faith. I don't mean to be presumptuous, but how can you really be a farmer if you don't do these things and always have a backup in case it doesn't work, when you're really making a living somewhere else?

As Bill was talking about these things he said that he thought this was like alot of people and Christianity. At our old church (long story) there was a woman who told the kids that all you had to do was ask Jesus into your heart and live a happy life and you'll go to heaven. It's just that easy!? Actually Scripture says the way is narrow and few are those that find it, that we have to come as a little child, give everything up, our pride, our sin, put our hand to the plow and not look back, fight the good fight, there will be persecutions, put our faith in Christ alone and trust Him, and lots of other things like that.

But there is an easy believism in this country- it wouldn't fly where people are being tortured for their faith, but here we like to make God in our image with a faith that fits our lifestyle. We want the world and Jesus too - a Jesus that makes us feel like we are Christians, but we are still safe and comfortable. No sin to fight against, no challenges to overcome, no growing and stretching of knowledge and faith, no throwing yourself completely on Him because there is nowhere else to go, just ask Him into your heart and lead your happy life and feel good about being a "Christian".

You're a real farmer if it cost you something. Same as being a Christian. Has being a Christian changed my life? Does it affect my choices, emotions, reactions, pocketbook, reputation, friendships, entertainment choices, and on and on. If my life has not changed in a radical, costly, 24 hour a day way, I would have question if I was a real Christian, or just playing at it.

This may be an inane comparison, but it was our talk at the breakfast table the other morning.

I posted this picture because it makes me smile. With our grandson Caleb in the background there is our Aussie, Jack who loves Bill and loves and lives to work. He's a real Aussie!!

Our PSA

2009-05-19T17:00:00.000-07:00

Billy is in Ocean City, Maryland training as a Public Safety Aid this summer. He has called a few times and this is the jist of what we hear:

I get peppered spray on Thursday!

I wanted to work on the night shift because more stuff happens. One lady came in and had messed herself and spread it all through her hair and had to be searched.

I just got certified in fingerprinting!

I'm learning how to search people. Are you going to be searching people I ask? Maybe, - even internal searches I ask? No yet, but I might get to watch!

My roomate who is a year older is getting punched and stuff so he knows what it's like. I'll do that next year.

God must put this in peoples' heart to do- He sure didn't put it in mine! I hope I never get pepper sprayed and beat up and have to search people's parts that shouldn't be search!

Thank you Father that there are people ( like Billy) willing to do this and in Your mercy, keep them safe!

A New Beginning

2009-05-15T11:25:00.000-07:00

Just the other evening I was weepy almost all night. Billy left at 2:00 a. m. for Ocean City, Maryland to work with the police dept. for his summer job. Next year he will work as an officer. He is really excited to be doing this. He has known he wanted to be in law enforcement for a long time and we have seen this in him since he was little. Not only working with the police, but at the beach, in a condo! Doesn't get too much better than that when you're twenty. He'll go from there straight back to Waynesburg University where he is a RA this year. We probably won't see him till Thanksgiving.

For me, this kind of marks the end of officially raising our kids. I mean they are always your children and as they grow you slowly let them go and test their little wet wings until the time comes that they do fly away. It's bittersweet. I'm thankful and proud of both our kids, they seem to be flying ok and in the right direction, but boy, we liked having them home too!

When Bill and I wanted another child, it was six years of doctors and prayers. I remember praying, begging God for a son who would be taller than me. ( I don't know why I prayed that!)

And the other day at 2 in the morning as I had to reach up to hug Billy goodbye I realized how good God had been to us to give us this son and how incredibly fast the years went.

It's a new beginning now for us. I so glad that Bill and I don't find ourselves strangers sitting alone at the dinner table. We still like being together. It's a new beginning for Billy as he starts on what, God willing, will be his career.

That morning after he left I found myself praying- God, you gave him to us and now I'm giving him back. Please keep him safe, in your will, and finding the way you want him to go.

We are so happy that God blessed us with kids ( and now grandkids!) - we enjoy them so much! God be with you Billy and we are praying for you!

Another Giant Step

2009-04-25T08:13:00.000-07:00

Was it Mother May I or Simon says, I don't remember, the game where you asked if you could take another giant step, but I have been feeling that way lately, taking another step in life, moving up to be next in line for old age.

I'm not depressed about it, just surprised. How does it go so fast? It's probably a middle age thing to be thinking things like this. When you are in your 20's or 30's everything's ahead and you have time (God willing) to grow your family, your career, the possibilities seem possible and endless.

When I was that age I would look ahead and in my pride and confidence think to myself, I will not be one of those middle age ladies who take all this medicine and have all those physical ailments- I am going to be going strong to the end!

But here I am, at 54 with two fake knees, and taking meds that befuddle my mind and make me more vunerable to any virus floating around , mostly due to Lyme disease and subsequent problems.

I say again, I'm not depressed, just surprised and humbled. God has His plans and later we will know the reason why.

One giant step forward- and we take our parents' place and our kids take our place. I have always found it comforting that everyone gets old! There's no formula- right food, exercise, less stress, everyone eventually gets old and dies.

There's no thinking- if only I had done it right I could live forever- except spiritually of course.

And that is where comfort and joy are from. Knowing that the loving Lord God has His plan -Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. Psalm 139

I do want to grow old gracefully, not complaining and making others, especially my kids, feel guilty. I hope they will call us because they want to and not feel they have too. That is a prayer of mine. So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90 So prayed Moses.

There are things I do really like about this age- Bill and I have our own schedule now, I LOVE being a Grammy- never knew it would feel like this! It's been such a joy and blessing watching our kids grow- Seeing Billy do well in college and doing what he always wanted to do. Looking back and seeing all that God has done in my life.I remember the days of old; I meditate on all that you have done; I ponder the work of your hands.

I think it really is a blessing to grow older- what's the alternative? :-) I had many school friends who never got this far and experienced this part of life.

So here's to the next step forward and may God please give me grace and maturity and wisdom to take it as it comes, for His glory.

Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.

God's Holiness

2009-04-13T04:42:00.000-07:00

As a christian the word "holiness" has made me squirm. First, the connotation- " they're all holy rollers", " she thinks she so holy"- all that kind of talk. Second, it's the thought that holiness is other wordly, something not for people who live in this plane of existance. And third, it makes me feel so dirty and not measured up to standards, which is I am sure a good thing!

But I read this quote today and it made me see holiness at a different angle and gratefully so:

If every attribute of the Deity were a distinct member, purity would be the form, the soul, the spirit to animate them. Without holiness, his patience would be an indulgence to sin, his mercy a fondness, his wrath a madness, his power a tyranny, his wisdom an unworthy subtlety. Holiness gives decorum to them all.
Charnock, Stephen

If God weren't so holy, so pure, so perfect, imagine, with horror, what the eternal, most powerful God would be like.

Everything we do is tainted by our "unholiness". Everything. If we are really honest with ourselves, when we show patience we can be thinking about how patience we are being, when we forgive, it can cause us to feel rather smug inside about how gracious we are, we lose our tempers quickly and unjustly, ect. This is why the good things we do can never bring us into God's holy heaven. But Hallulejah for Jesus and His redeeming work! The curtain to the Holy of Holies in the temple of Jerusalem was miraculously torn down on the day of crucifixion at the moment of His death, signifying that through Him, through this Door, we have access to the Father!

We should thank Him everyday for His goodness, patience, forgiveness and forbearance, and love He shows to us and His creation continually until that Day when His justice will also be revealed.

I pray that I won't be ashamed of the word "holy" and come to understand it better and by His power grow to be more like Him.

Resurrection Thoughts

2009-04-07T16:59:00.000-07:00

On March 29th we went to an award ceremony at Waynesburg University for our son Billy ( or to everyone except his parents, Bill). He has been on the Dean's List for two years now, and we are of course very proud of him and have his certificate hanging on the wall. We're proud of him not only for the grades he's been getting, but for many other things as well. He's a good worker and works at a local restaurant about 20hrs a week and has just been hired to be a resident advisor next year. He has a good sense of humor, has good friends, goes to church regularly, and calls home and talks to us! We're so thankful to God for all this.

I said that to say this- tonight Billy called to tell us that his very good friend's friend back home was shot and killed in a robbery yesterday while working at Subway. He was 19 years old. He was a soccer player and received awards in science. I can't even in a million years begin to understand how this boy's parents and family feel. Billy is probably going into some kind of law enforcement and as the time grows nearer for that I have to keep giving my fears to the Lord, but tonight I was angry. I thought if I was in court facing the person who shot my son, what would I say? How I could I begin to forgive him?

And then my thoughts went to another Son who was killed. And the reason for His death. ( me and everyone else). He had never done anything wrong. His Father said " This is my Beloved Son in whom I am well pleased"and His Father was the one who put Him to death for our sakes --can that love be measured? What great unimaginable forgiveness and mercy and grace!

There is no tribunal so magnificent, no throne so stately, no show of triumph so distinguished, no chariot so elevated, as is the gibbet on which Christ hath subdued death and the devil.
John Calvin

My Easter thoughts this year will be remembering this boy and praying for his family, that God would be near them and comfort them. That He will give them strength and faith for all that lies ahead.

And that I would remember the cost of the friday we call Good which was the cost of my forgiveness, and the hope and promise Jesus gave us when death couldn't hold Him.

Death cannot keep his prey, Jesus my Saviour, He tore the bars away, Jesus my Lord.

Up from the grave He arose, with a mighty triumph o'er his foes,

He arose a victor from the dark domain and he lives forever with his saints to reign

He arose, He arose, Hallelujah! Christ arose!

Carol's Birthday

2009-04-01T16:37:00.000-07:00

This is my sister Carol's birthday. After four girls, she was due on April 1st and was to be a boy, but she fooled us all and April 2nd there she was!

If I were to make a list of the people I admire and respect, Carol would be at the top. ( Bill says the same) I don't know if she knows that or would even believe it, but there it is.

When we were young we were rather profound enemies. I was left in charge alot and as the youngest there was no way she was going to take orders from me. I believe there were even kitchen knives thrown at my bedroom door. Carol and my sister Karen have always been closer mostly due to age. I think they caught the couch on fire - but that was a something they working together on, not as enemies!

As we became adults, Carol has had some difficult times, probably the most difficult any parent can have. She lost her son due to tragic circumstances. He left two grandsons. Her other son has had some problems too. Because of the death of David, Carol found a real, lasting and saving relationship with Christ. Between the many talks she had with David about his faith and the journals he left behind, she has the comfort of knowing that he is with the Lord Jesus.

The change in Carol has been phenomenal. One of the things I admire in Carol is the fact that she has no bitterness. If I talk about my kids, about something good happening or that they're coming home, she is just as happy or excited about that as I am. I appreciate that so much, that she doesn't make me feel guilty or that she doesn't feel sorry for herself. I not sure that I could be as gracious as she is.

She has grabbed onto to her faith and doesn't hesitate to share it - she has a boldness I wish I had. She is one of the most giving and willing persons I know.

I know that sometimes when she is alone thoughts of David and other problems overwhelm
and hurt, but unless you think to ask specifically how she is doing , you would never know.

Because she has helped me to see how Christ can change someone, because she shows no bitterness or self pity, because of the way she has forgiven those who hurt her deeply,because of her trust and love for the Lord God, my sister Carol is one of my most admired people!

Happy Birthday Carol and God bless you real good!

What is Good?

2009-02-27T17:20:00.000-08:00

What does it mean to be a "good person"? Do we feel we are good people by comparing ourselves to others we feel are not so good? Those who do things that we would never do, you know the phrase- how could she (he) do that!! I find myself thinking and saying that kind of stuff sometimes. But I read Exodus 33:17-23 the other day and can't get it out of my mind.

17 And the Lord said to Moses, “This very thing that you have spoken I will do, for you have found favor in my sight, and I know you by name.” 18 Moses said, “Please show me your glory.” 19 And he said, “I will make all my goodness pass before you and will proclaim before you my name ‘The Lord.’ And I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show mercy on whom I will show mercy. 20 But,” he said, “you cannot see my face, for man shall not see me and live.” 21 And the Lord said, “Behold, there is a place by me where you shall stand on the rock, 22 and while my glory passes by I will put you in a cleft of the rock, and I will cover you with my hand until I have passed by. 23 Then I will take away my hand, and you shall see my back, but my face shall not be seen.”

The word that jumps out at me is "goodness". If God were to show Moses His "goodness" Moses could not live. The word in the lexicon is Towb, meaning good, pleasant,lovely, cheerful, happy, kind, correct. Moses could not stand or live in the presence of God's lovely, pure, kindly, joyful, goodness. He was a man, full of sin, like every other person on the planet. None of us could live the way we are in God's presence.

But I love the really neat way that Jesus is in this passage too! God tells Moses that he will stand on a rock by Him and He will set him in the cleft of the rock and shelter him with His hand. This is Christ- the Rock-and we find safety in Him and standing with His righteousness on, we are able to come to God with full confidence, knowing that someday we will see Him as He is, because Christ took our sins to Himself , became sin, in our place.

God is the one we are to compare ourselves too - His standard. Of course we all fall short- I'm so thankful for Jesus! What will it be like someday to be free of sin and experience that brilliant joy, kindness and love? Sometimes I can't wait!

27 Years

2009-02-20T06:33:00.000-08:00

Today is our 27th anniversary. Here we are then and there is no need for another picture since we look the same! :-)

On a rainy, cold day in February we had a very informal wedding with cake and punch after and then went to our little 4 room house with a broken furnace. Not a real impressive start, but what a great life so far! Never boring!

The life of a dairy farmer is defined by what he does. We have never had a vacation or even days off. Although now that we have grandkids whose birthdays happen to be Oct 5th and 6th( which I consider very thoughtful of Nick and Tammy to have arranged) we have started to take a weekend in Oct. to go the Big City of Cincinnati for birthday parties. It involves alot of work to be able to go for just two days.

I sometimes wonder if we would have been as close as we are if we had gone our separate ways with jobs and such. We have weathered so much together- sick cows, machine breakdown, loss of water, loss of electricity, milking and working in more than 100 degrees, and this winter working in -20 degrees, devastatingly low milk price drops, weather so wet you lose your winter feed, trying to balance low milk prices with high feed prices, working not 9-5 but 5-9 everyday, "the cows are out again", I could go on. But God has always been so good and gracious to us, I suspect most in the bad times, if we could only see it all.

But the sweet things we would never have had if we didn't live this life- a cow having triplets, Billy as a toddler falling asleep in his swing in the barn as we did chores, pitching together as a family to work out above problems, making hay,( Tammy driving the tractor pulling the baler), building forts down in the woods (Billy), standing in the yard one night and watching the northern lights pouring from the sky ( we thought it was the Second Coming!), watching the sun come up every morning, smelling freshly cut hay through your open bedroom window at night, watching the sun go down every night, everyone sitting down for dinner after a good day of work, drinking milk and eating eggs you just got that morning, introducing our grandkids to the cows, ( Caleb likes the machinery better), watching the cows grazing in the pasture after chores are done on a summer evening, being able to take the afternoon off if you want to, finding out you can do more than you thought you could, getting over fear of snakes (mostly), knowing that you could chop wood if you had too( Bev), watching Nick flip out in disbelief as Bill artificially bred a cow, I could go on.

Bill and I are best friends. He has never tried to change me and I don't think I have ever tried to change him. We like each other. I know now that when we got married we barely knew each other. I love him and appreciate him more now and in so many different ways than I could have known back then.

Happy Anniversary Bill! You, who have worked so hard for your family, who are always ready with a quick laugh, who have been so generous of spirit and tender of heart with me, thanks for the life we have- I really wouldn't change a thing!

For Love of Books

2009-02-14T05:22:00.000-08:00

I love books. When I was a little girl my mother would let me go to Buhl library on Saturday mornings. It was my most favorite thing of all to do. She would drop me off and I would walk up to the big old building and pull open the 20 ft. doors ( so they seemed) and enter another land. I could stay there all day. Each and every book was a wonderful possibility of travel, imagination, learning- I loved it!

One of my earliest memories is asking everyone what something said- I couldn't wait to read. I am reminded all of this because our daughter Tammy was telling me of our 4 yr. old granddaughter Abby's excitement over getting her Scholastic book order in preschool. Boy, I remember those days! Waiting for the teacher to open the box, the smell of the new books! I guess I am a real geek! I loved getting any kind of book in school and was always reading ahead.

Several years ago my husband was commenting on all the stacks of books and shelves here and there around the house. Now, I love to see stacks of books- when I go to someone's house I don't check out their furniture or knick knacks or whatever- I look for books. But Bill felt something needed to be done, so in a small extra room in our house he made floor to ceiling shelves for books. I have about a thousand, although this does include a set of adult and children's encyclopedias. I try to only keep books I have read and loved or am going to read.

One of my most favorite days of the year is the Kiwanas book sale. Not crazy about shopping for clothes, ect, just books. What a wonderful treasure hunt it is - tables and tables of books - 25 cents for paperback, 50 cents for hardback. I have an old copy of Perelandra by C. S. Lewis (one of my favorite authors) that is all marked up, but I really like the points the first reader brought out about the story- I see he enjoyed it too! I actually tremble waiting to go in to the sale. I'm sick.

I love the feel of them in my hand, the smell of a new book, the lush possibilites of what you can learn, experience, enjoy, reading them. I love my "library"! Thank you Bill!

And now I see that both our grandkids love to "read". They want BOOKS when they go to the store- ah, it begins again.

A Thousand Splendid Suns

2009-02-02T17:16:00.000-08:00

I just finished reading this book and what a good read it was! One of those books that haunt you all day. Like its predecessor, The Kite Runner, it gives you a first hand, very personal look at present day life in Afghanistan, this one from a woman's perspective.

For me, at times, it was just too hard to read, the reality of it. I have become so thankful for the small, simple things I always take for granted everyday, things I don't even think about anymore. I think every American should read these books for a real look at what is going on in places we hear about in the news. It gives you a good look at the enemy with whom we are at war. Some people think if we can just talk and reason we can all be at peace. Evil is real and it will not negotiate.

The strength of character of these women makes for a beautiful, if sad, story. How anyone endures these situations is remarkable.

As a Christian, I was struck by what I saw as the hopelessness of everyone. At the end of the book when the main character is facing a judge, he talks to her about facing God at judgement and not having a defense for heeding his commandments, that is all they can do is go on abiding by the laws, however painful it could prove.

I once heard someone say that there are only two religions, Christianity and all the rest, because all the rest try to find their own way to God, by earning, achieving, even reincarnating, but Christianity offers something so totally, radically different, man would never even think of it on his own.

God Himself is the atonement and we come to Him because of the merits of Jesus' perfect life and payment for our sins. There is nothing we can bring to Him who is holy, but He is also so loving He Himself provides the Way through Christ.

I am grateful for the chance to read this book. It will help me be more attentive to the news, and more fervent in prayer for that section of the world. And I hope a little less complaining about little things in my world, as I remember Mariam and Laila.

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption

that is in Jesus Christ, who God put forward as a propitiation

by his blood, to be received by faith.

Romans 3:23-25

Morning Thoughts

2009-01-31T04:52:00.000-08:00

This was the view from my kitchen window this morning as I did dishes. My first thought was that I hadn't been appreciating how gorgeous this winter is, because here on the farm we had just been trying to survive it!

Then I was thinking of the saying that if there was only one sunrise ( or sunset) every once in awhile, how everyone would stop everything to watch it. And then I thought how weird it was that we call it a sunrise when the the sun isn't moving at all, (well, technically it is) but that we are the ones blasting and spinning through space.

Then I thought, how like us to put everything into our own perspective. We somehow think that everything is there for us and happens for us.

When things good or bad happen to us, sometimes, maybe, it has nothing to do with us at all but is part of the Sovereign God's good plan. That's where faith and trust in Him play their part.

I think of the Scripture in Job, who had to learn this lesson-

Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?

Tell me if you have understanding.

Who determined its measurements- surely you know!

Or who stretched the line upon it?

On what were its bases sunk, or who laid its cornerstone,

When all the morning stars sang together and all the angelic realm shouted for joy?

Job 38:4-7

Birthday Thoughts

2009-01-24T11:47:00.000-08:00

Today is my 54th birthday and I thougt it to be a good time to start my new project of blogging.

I have always liked the idea of my birthday being in January- it made Christmas a little longer, although

the idea of my being 54 is ridiculous. My MOTHER was just 54. The OLD lady we bought the farm from was 54. 54 is over half a century old! How can that be when I feel the same inside. I still feel the same as when I was a little girl hiding under the pine tree pretending I was in the woods, or being really anxious about what I was going to wear to high school the next day, or falling in love, having my babies, ect. Now my babies are having babies.

Life goes so fast and sometimes I am afraid I have not reach out and grasped everything I could have ( or should have), but I'm not sure life is about grasping what I always want. I am so thankful to the Lord for the priviledge of life. I have two sisters who never got to their first year and some friends who didn't reach 25. What an immense gift it is to get older and I am really thankful.

This picture was taken just the other morning in our side yard with our wonderful Mahoning outdoor furnace puffing way! Love that furnace- after years of going up and down the cellar steps to fire up the wood/coal furnace, and no heat in the morning until you did, this is such a wonderful luxury! It's one of the concessions we made to getting old bones- especially me, as my knees are now artificial.

When my kids were born I took Psalm 139 to the hospital with me. It gave me comfort and courage and even now reminds me of God's plan and interest in my life:

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it full well.

My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret,

intricatedly woven in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed substance;in your book were written , every one of them,

the days that were formed for me,when as yet there were none of them.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!

If I could count them, they are more than the sand.

I awake, and I am still with you.

***

Search me , O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!

And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead my in the way everlasting!